Previously, on Outlander. Lots of Frank. That tells me this episode will deal heavily with Frank. Really? I mean, come on! After all the hot sex you had with the hot, young, ginger Highlander we are going to plain, old Frank? Don’t get me wrong, I kinda like TV Frank, but… seriously?
Awesome intro that still makes me cry. Cut to old and new maps overlapping. That’s a meaningful picture if I ever saw one.
Phone rings. Guess which century are we on? Ding! Ding! Ding! Here comes Frank, ladies! So Frank starts off his day by out-witting the Inverness police detective who doesn’t have a clue about where Claire is. So he jumps to the obvious conclusion: that Claire ran away with the Highlander. He might be kinda dumb, but he ain’t completely off the mark. Frank gets a tiny bit violent and screams “my wife is not with another man”! Well, actually…
She totally is. We cut to Claire with, literally, another man. They are sitting on top a small cliff, looking at the landscape and being cute. Though all I can see is the amount of humidity in the air. My hair would have a life of it’s own. No amount of flat ironing would keep it in check. Jamie asks Claire if it’s usual, what’s between them. Oh, Jamie… I do love you so. Jamie is so into staring lovingly at Claire’s (not brown) eyes and touching her hands, that he doesn’t notice someone’s near until an arrow goes flying by next to them. Really, Jamie. Where are your warrior reflexes? But he knows that arrow. It’s his buddy Hugh Munro. Book readers will squee with glee for Hugh Munro. For non-readers, he’s just a guy doing some exposition. Apparently, some redcoat deserter, Horrocks, has intel that will clear Jamie of the price on his head. Oh! Another thing? He gives Claire a wedding gift: a dragonfly in amber. Take note, you fools. That’s the title of the 2nd book. It’s kind of a metaphor.
Back at the manse, in 1945, Reverend Wakefield is trying to come with the craziest theories ever and Frank seems to just want to murder his own brain with a Q-tip through the ear. But in comes Outlander’s version of Mrs Hughes bringing the solution for everything: a cup of tea. She is trailed by the cutest wee lad everrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Non-book readers will have absolutely no clue whatsoever as to who this cookie monster is. You’ll have to file him as “relevant to the plot at a future point”. While you guys are scratching your heads, we book readers are flailing like crazy because: OMG!!! It’s Roger!!! And he is just so cuuuuute! Look at those chubby cheeks, hear that cute little voice! It’s the ghost of Christmas future!
Frank can’t deal with how cute wee Roger is, so he decides to go to the bar to drink hard liquor.
At the bar, you-can-call-me-Sally-but-that’s-not-my-real-name, tells him she knows where the Highlander who took his wife is. Come at half past 12, to the dark, creepy ass alley and I’ll tell you. Come alone. Bring the reward. You don’t have to be a master spy to know that’s a trap.
Back at Highlander camp, Rupert is telling a story when they all notice that someone’s near. But they know what to do. They’ve done this before, you see. So they arm themselves and re-position in a guarding manner. Jamie sends Claire to hide behind a log and chaos explodes. Some fighting later, the MacKenzies have won. Well, duh.
Apparently, back in 1945 is half past 12 cuz Frank is meeting with you-can-call-me-Sally. She’s fidgety. This is so a trap. Two thugs attack Frank but he beats the crap out of them and then almost strangles you-can-call-me-Sally. Now I see the family resemblance with Black Jack.
Frank goes back to the manse to hear Reverend Wakefield babble about good and evil, darkness and light. All this allegory is to convince Frank to leave Inverness and go back to his life, cuz Claire obviously left with the sexy Highlander. Reverend Wakefield is a fan of Benedict Cumberbatch and uses Sherlock’s logic to convince Frank. I would love to see Sherlock use his Mind Palace to try figuring out what the heck happened to Claire.
The next morning, in 1743 that is, the Highlanders teach Claire how to kill a man, cuz that’s a task every woman must learn how to do. If I hadn’t read the books I’d still know Claire was going to off someone in this episode. Still, this scene is good for two things: Jamie does his knife trick again and I hear how the heck to pronounce “sgian dubh”.
Apparently the Sherlock logic worked, cuz Frank’s packing his bags. While looking at a photo of himself and Claire on their wedding day, the episode cuts to Claire and Jamie getting ready to have sex on the meadow. Ouch. Poor Frank.
Jamie, using a much loved quote from the book asks Claire “does it ever stop, the wanting you”? Well lad, I didn’t have an answer for you before, but now I do. It does stop. For over 6 months it will stop. You’ll have the biggest case of blue balls ever. Enjoy it while it lasts.
But Starz isn’t just evil with us, they are evil with Jamie as well. Instead of letting him do his thing, 2 Red Coats hold them at gun point. When one says he’ll keep Jamie alive while he watches how the other one rapes Claire, you just know that Claire’s going to use her newly acquired knowledge to off one of these guys. Actually, Claire kills one and Jamie the other. They make a good team.
Back in 1945, Outlander’s Mrs Hughes is arguing with Reverend Wakefield about how she wants to tell Frank what she believes happened. As it happens, Frank is a master spy and has overhead the conversation. So here we go: exposition time. Mrs Graham tells him about Craigh Na Dun. About the stories that tell about certain people that on certain days, travel through the stones, through time. But the tales say they usually come back. Frank’s having none of that. He is going back to Oxford. For no good reason Roger, the ghost of Christmas future, is right there looking up at Frank. I’ll screencap this cute relevant future plot point cuz he is just too precious and I just can’t even.
I don’t even care if non-book-readers don’t understand where the devil this cute boy came from. Go read the book. Better yet, read all 8 books and 1 short story and then you’ll understand why I’m so excited about seeing this kid in all his cookie-eating, short-pants-wearing, green-eyed glory.
Back at the meadow, Jamie is apologizing for not taking care of Claire. She doesn’t really mind, she is going into shock and babbling about Errol Flynn. For the life of me I still can’t understand how Dougal goes from these murdered red coats to Horrocks. Dougal’s mind works in mysterious ways. But he decides to accompany Jamie to his meeting with the deserter.
We see Frank leaving.
We go back to 1743, Claire ridding with the Highlanders. Jamie tells her he’ll leave her at the forest with Willie while he and the rest of the MacKenzies meet up with Horrocks. Yeah… not the brightest plan ever. Jamie makes Claire promise she’ll stay there. But Claire chooses this moment to realize why she is angry: cuz in the midst of all the hot sex with Jamie, she forgot all about her plan to go back to Frank. Don’t worry Claire, we totally understand you.
Now Frank’s driving his car. He spots the entrance to Craigh Na Dun. Turns his car and goes there.
Claire ditches her babysitter and starts walking. And suddenly, she sees it. Craigh Na Dun. It’s just over there. She starts walking towards it.
Frank runs up the hill to Craigh Na Dun. So does Claire. The music swells. Is the one from the druid dance back from episode 1. Clever move, Starz. Even having read the book and knowing what was going to happen, I sat straighter and leaned toward the TV screen. Besides, the Instagram filter on the 1940′s and the over-saturated colors of 1743 are amazing.
Then Frank shouts Claire’s name in 1945 and she hears him in 1743. All of our hearts break. She shouts back. He (and we) thinks he hears her. They both approach the same stone. Claire sees her long forgotten shawl. Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
I know all this ain’t canon, but I couldn’t help feeling for these characters. I couldn’t help wondering what would happen. I imagine non-readers must have been gripping the edge of their seats!
Oh well… all this excitement for nothing. Red Coats drag Claire off before she could touch the stones. The look on Tobias Menzies’s face is such utter sadness and desolation you wanna give him an Emmy right now.
Claire, on the wagon to Fort William voices over about how now she has a plan against Black Jack Randall. Yeah… we’ll see how that works for you, Beauchamp.
At first, Black Jack is all civil, offering wine and congratulations on her marriage. But then Randall drags a chair across the floor and I wonder how the heck he manages to make that sound threatening. The time for witty banter is over. But Claire mentions the Duke of Sandrigham and Randall chokes on his wine. HA! We all love and cheer Claire during the next few minutes until she makes a mistake and we are back at being scared for her. Damn!
Black Jack, little pervert that he is, keeps a rope in his desk and ties Claire’s wrists. This doesn’t look good. While making all kind of threats, he cuts her bodice, bends her over the desk, threatens her with rape and cutting her nipple and we start praying cuz there’s no way in hell Claire’s getting out of this one.
Except…
Jamie comes barging in through the window. “I’ll thank you to take your hands off my wife”. Black Jack has this totally psychotic look on his face. Episode ends with Jamie in a literal cliffhanger. Ok. Maybe a window-hanger, but still.
As soon as the mid-season finale was announced, I knew it would end here. Just ask my mom. I told her this weeks ago. It was the obvious place to cut the season in 2. But knowing one thing and actually seeing it, are two different things. When the episode ended I was screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” at my TV.
Now we have to wait. 6 bloody months. Damn! But when you consider that Diana Gabaldon left poor Jemmy alone in a tunnel for almost 5 years, Jamie hanging 6 months off a window is nothing to us fans. Oops! Spoiler alert…
