It’s been a long time since we’ve done one of these, right? So as a very stellar comeback for the Fuck/Marry/Kill trilogy, I’ve invited some of my Twitter friends and fellow Luketeers to be Guest Contributors and discuss what we’d do to each and every character Luke Evans has ever played on the big screen.
So it will be me (Ally) representing , from , from and from The . It took us more than 2 weeks and battling 4 different Time Zones but in between lots of giggling and spin-off conversations, we managed to do it! So fasten your seat belts because it is going to be a bumpy ride!!!
EM: I’m down. Let’s do this.
EPPIE: When do we start? *dontlookatmeimtotallynotquotingloki*
APOLLO (CLASH OF THE TITANS)
ALLY: Let’s start with Apollo from “Clash of the Titans”. I’d kill him. Sorry! Sorry! I know he is a God and all that, but I’m not digging the long hair and golden, sparkly armor. And I gotta kill at least one of his characters, so it might as well be him.
EM: I would kill him as well, possibly with his own awesome sword-spear hybrid weapon. He plays two gods and this one is the lesser of the two. Seriously, a fully clothed Greek god? What the hell? It’s a no go for me.
ALLY: Yeah, the costume designer didn’t take full advantage of his Godlike awesomeness. Such a waste. And the hair was just plain weird.
EM: Yeah, I totally agree. It was his first movie role though, so I guess the director just didn’t understand his attraction potential. lol
NITA: Oh poor Apollo, but to be honest, I would kill him too! Look, he has long hair with that terrible make-up! Ok, it’s not that ugly but it’s not him! And what about all that golden? Mamma mia! It’s not his fault but the costume…meh..! *that golden panoply made me think of a Ferrero Rocher * Sorry, can’t help it
ALLY: OMG!!! Apollo totally looks like a Ferrero Rocher!!! Hhhhmmm… Now… thinking about it… I’d rather eat him than kill him….
NITA: Uhmmmm must be too sweet, huh? and bitter too, that is a challenge
EPPIE: Whaaaaaaat?! Why does everyone want to kill Apollo?! Because of the way he looks?! Girls, that’s SO superficial! And apart from that: he looks great!!! That long hair? I love it! And his shiny golden armour? So handsome! Come on, girls! How can you not like him?! Ferrero Rocher…! He’s a total babe! And he’s such a sweetie when it comes to the human race and their protection (unlike his arsehole father). Aaaw, guys! Don’t hate Apollo! I adore him! He’s my brave knight in shiny armour! I would at least fuck if not marry him! I mean, honestly, guys! He’s a GOD! And what a god! He’s kind and loving and he cares for humankind! My handsome prince! I would totally marry Apollo!
EM: Zeus is also a god… A god with a bod. Doesn’t get better than that. And this game is entirely superficial! lol
ALLY: So you can marry Apollo. We 3 promise not to kill him. You can have that Golden God all by yourself.
EPPIE: Haha, thank you, dear! I really have a soft spot for Apollo. He’s a nice guy and I like him a lot.
ALLY: Aaaawwww. That’s just too cute. Ok. We’ve decided about Apollo. Should we move on to the other God? Zeus from Immortals???
EPPIE: Sure! Why not?
ZEUS (IMMORTALS)
EM: OMG I LOVE HIM
ALLY: Ok. Let’s see. Zeus. I’d totally fuck him. I mean… if he is willing to kill his own son who he loves, he wouldn’t think twice about beheading his wife. And I rather like my head. So I wouldn’t marry him. But I’d totally do him. He is one hot piece of God!
EM: I would hardcore fuck Zeus, with all his mightiness and Godliness. That bod is literally the sex. I feel like gods wouldn’t make the best spouses considering their promiscuous nature, and I’m presuming that Zeus is definitely like that. So… Fuck buddy? I think so!
ALLY: Me thinks so too. Total booty call!
EPPIE: Omg, ladies! Well, to be honest I wouldn’t wanna marry Zeus either. So since killing him is not an option because he’s a god, I would have to go with “fuck” as well. Gawd, I feel superficial!
ALLY: Embrace your superficial side. Sometimes it’s fun!
NITA: Zeus? Wow! He got upgraded from Apollo! If Apollo is God of sun, music and poetry, Zeus is absolutely opposite and I surely prefer the God of the sky who liked lighting and thunder. Luke as Zeus was so damn hot for me (especially his costume…you know what I mean…thanks to those costume designers who let us see his freaking hot body) and he was very wise. He is also known for having many love affairs. Why wouldn’t I marry him? He did a fantastic job portraying Zeus!
ALLY: So… which character should we do next?
EM: I’m not sure… There are so many!
ALLY: Hahaha. So, you pick the next character.
EM: Ermagerddddd. Owen Shaw???
OWEN SHAW (FAST & FURIOUS 6)
ALLY: Uh! Very nice pick! So… would you rather kill him, marry him or do him???
EM: I WANT TO MARRY HIM SO WE CAN FUCK ALL THE TIME AND BE DELICIOUSLY EVIL TOGETHER… -cough- sorry, about that. I get excited about my future hubby.
ALLY: Hahaha! I so knew you’d wanna marry him! You could totally be bad together. I’m sorry, hon. But I’d totally fuck your husband. The buzz cut, the cool clothes, the intelligence, the great toys and the whole attitude. Totally do-able. Ok. He is kinda cold-hearted and calculating, but I don’t want him for fuzzy things.
EM: I love him. He’s my absolute favorite!!!
ALLY: Mine too. And the driver. I don’t know what THAT says about me…
EM: Omg I love him… I just like bad boys… A lot.
NITA: Time for my bad hubby? ok! If there must be the reason why I want to be bad it’s because of him, no doubt about that! Can you imagine how great it would be to have him as a boss and hubby at the same time? haha (I want it even more actually!) Look at his face that ridicule others, I love it a lot! Also the way he drives so intelligently and walks, caught my eye. He has a finger in every pie, the government, CIA, police and military. Shaw is portrayed as a man without loyalty, only focused on getting the job done. He is so bad! but sorry I do LOVE it! Luke as Owen Shaw is very clever,very quick,very fit and incredibly intelligent. Isn’t that enough to make me absolutely want to fucking marry him!?
EPPIE: I don’t trust Owen Shaw enough to marry him (I bet he would sell me to his worst enemy if needs be, so thanks but no thanks!) and I am pretty sure he would be impossible to kill and I am very fond of my own life so I’d have to go with: FUCK! Not that I’m complaining…
Ally: Ok. So all 4 of us would do Shaw. He is going to be a very busy bad boy
NITA: who will be the next one?
ALLY: you choose who we should do next!
NITA: what about Fields? I know what Eppie will tell us about this character… don’t blame me if I would FUCK him!!!
DETECTIVE EMMETT FIELDS (THE RAVEN)
ALLY: you go girl! No, I wouldn’t blame you.
NITA: hope Eppie doesn’t kill me
ALLY: So. Detective Emmett Fields. I gotta say I would totally marry him. I’d use the time machine to go back in time and become Mrs Fields. He is intelligent, honest, open minded (if not, he would never have asked Poe for help), he is sympathetic, brave and a pioneer in forensic sciences. What’s not to love?
NITA: I caught myself smiling for no reason after I finished “The Raven” and I keep asking myself ”is that because of Fields”? and the answer is YES! He’s the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies.. and to tell you the the truth, I am so crazy madly in love with his hair. My favorite scene is the one that he is having surgery with no anesthetic to remove a bullet in his shoulder the killer fired into him. The doctor uses a magnet to find the bullet in his flesh….he is soooooooooo damn sexy in that bed! and if you can remember his face in the last scene, where Fields figures out that Ivan/Reynolds went to Paris to kill Jules Verne. Fields hides in a carriage and when Ivan/Reynolds steps into the cab, Fields shoots him dead, that took my breath away! so…..I would marry him for sure!
ALLY: The no anesthetic scene is awesome!!! So… we would share a husband, huh?
NITA: ahhhh who should be no.1? Eppie?
ALLY: Spouse no. 1? Eppie, I’m sure. We are just back up wives
NITA: ok. that’s fine. but if it’s Bard, I should be No.1 hahaha! apart of his dead wife
ALLY: I’ll fight you for him! I love Tolkien men!!!
NITA: ohhhhh mannnnnnn please I really love this guy. I am begging!!!
ALLY: Ok. Ok. I can share. You’ll be 1st wife and I get him on the weekends
NITA: We’re gonna fight over BARD? nah! I don’t think we should be enemies as you have told me you get him on the weekends, I am ok with that! but don’t make him so tired!! you must return him to me with full energy, he must be ready for me on Monday night! ok? I want him to slay me with his black arrow!
ALLY: Oh, getting kinky, are we???
EPPIE: SORRY LADIES, I LOVE YOU LOTS BUT I AM NOT GOING TO SHARE EMMETT!!! Not even for the weekends. So get your hands off my husband and away from that time machine! He’s my precious babe! You can have them all, even Bard if you will (even though it would break my heart not to have at least a small piece of him), but Detective Emmett Fields is totally mine to MARRY (and fuck of course) and mine alone!!! He’s a brilliant Detective and very modern for his time. I love that about him! He’s open-minded and tries to take every aspect of his case into consideration. This might slow him down to a certain extend but it’s also making his work very accurate and effective. I wish the movie would have cast some more light on his private life but since Poe was the main character that seemed to be of lesser interest for the writers/producers. Such a pitty! He’s such an interesting and rich character! He has a pretty cool agenda generally for the time he lives in. And yes, his hair is fucking adorable AND IT’S ALL MINE!!! As his loving wife I would wait for him at home and (emotionally) support him wherever and whenever I could. I would help him with his work and bring him tea and I would care for him well like he deserves it and OMG, I WOULD TOTALLY LOVE HIM TO BITS and he would totally love me back!!! My sweet precious lovely Detective Fields!
ALLY: See? When you describe him like that… how couldn’t we love him and want to marry him???
EPPIE: Sorry I got a little emotional over Detective Emmett Fields but he’s my omgilovehimsomuchidontevenknowwheretostarthessoadorableandomggetmefieldsrightnowiwanthimsofreakingbad special babe!!!!!!!
ALLY: Don’t worry, sweety. We know you love Fields to the moon and back. That’s why we said you could be first wife.
EPPIE: TO THE END OF THE UNIVERSE AND TIME AND BACK!!! AND I AM NOT SHARING EMMETT!!! Maaaaaaaybe once a year for your birthdays because I’m generous. *rofl* C’mon, girls! You can have BARD! For free!!! I know I will regret saying this because I love him almost as much as Fields. But FIELDS: I CAN’T CONTAIN MYSELF!!! No one is making me fangirl so hard!!! Bard is pretty close though. But FIELDS! Okay, I need to stop now
NITA: Eppie, I give up. I know you love Fields a lot and can’t share him with us even for a second! But I really don’t mind fucking him and let him be yours haha…
ALLY: Lets see if Em also wants to marry Fields…
EM: Actually, I think you’re all going to be surprised by my decision. I would kill him. Actually, though haha. I’ll tell you why… Fields seems like the kind of guy that is constantly working, which means that, as his wife, you would never get his attention. He also brings his work home with him, which could become really stressful. I mean, I really don’t want to compete with his work for his attention. Also, I’m sorry but his American accent was GOD awful… It was hilarious. I don’t think I could ever keep a straight face when he spoke to me. That would make sex really awkward… I would just start laughing. I’m really not into that style clothing or hair either, so unfortunately, it’s a no go for me. SORRY GIRLS.
EPPIE: More Fields for me! The better!
EM: That’s okay, Owen Shaw is mine. He wouldn’t ever dare get rid of me, because I would give him like an infinite amount of reasons for him to love me… Like the sex. That would be amazing enough for him to keep me around.
NITA: Em, you surprise me!!! OMG You want to kill Mr. Fields?! Eppie, please take good care of your beloved husband and keep him away from Em!
ALLY: OMG Emmmm!!!! You’d kill Fields? What you say kinda makes sense, but Fields is just adorkable!!! How could you???
EPPIE: please don’t kill Fields, Em!
EM: I’m killing him!
ALLY: Don’t worry Eppie. Nita and I will keep him safe
EPPIE: My poor baby Fields!!!
ALLY: Fields can defend himself. He’s got a gun
EM: He has a shitty little gun that’s only accurate within like 20 ft haha
ALLY: hahaha! stop killing Fields! So. As we’ve all been talking about Bard like forever, should we do him next?
BARD (THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG)
EPPIE: BARD!!!
EM: I mean… I’m just going to kill him off too lol
EPPIE: BARD?! You would kill Fields AND Bard?!
EM: yup, BOTH OF THEM! Muahahaha
EPPIE: WTH?! You are sooooo naaaaaasty!!! Why poor Bard, too?! Okay, explain
ALLY: WTF??? You’d kill Bard??? Why??? That’s horrible!!!
NITA: Whattttttttttttttt!!! how do you dare to kill my husband BARD!!!?!!! I will kill you girl!
EM: I would kill Bard, but reluctantly so… Maybe give him like a noble death or whatnot. Why? Because I don’t really go for inherently-good people or family-oriented guys. Bard is all about his family, which is swell but not for me, especially because I don’t like kids… At all. Also, he’s just not hardcore enough for me. Yeah his final action is pretty badass, but he doesn’t match up to Owen or The Driver in terms of pure badassery. Also… I’m totally not a fan of the clothes or the hair. As you can see, I like sharp-dressed men and Bard doesn’t make the cut. Sorry bro, you’re dead to me.
NITA: ok, Em your reason is good enough. I won’t kill you dear!
EM: Haha thank you, Nitina.
NITA: Bard is one bad-ass bowman!! He is the biggest crush that’s ever happened to me. I don’t know how to say what I really feel for him and I wish I were in Lake Town so badly!! He is the only reason why I have watched DoS 7 times in the cinema and can’t count how many times I’ve see him in my computer. But I really don’t mind if I have to share him with some other woman as I know how smart, good and sexy my precious husband is! but in the end he must be MINE for eternity! I don’t know how to explain my feelings when I first saw him with the arrow and his voice porn!! I thought I was dead and in heaven! I have to admit, if I were there in Middle-earth I would do anything just to be with him! I don’t like kids except his 3 ones. ”If you awaken that beast, you’ll destroy us all” ——-> You didn’t destroy us but you melt me, BARD! And ”Have you forgotten what happened to Dale? Have you forgotten those who died in the firestorm? And for what purpose? The blind ambition of a Mountain King, so riveted by greed he cannot see beyond his own desire!” makes me very deepest in love with him. Bard is a bad ass dragon slayer!! And I want him to slay me every night with his black arrow!!!! I definitely would fucking MARRY him! I’d gladly give lovely Fields to Eppie and Owen Shaw to Em or even Driver to Ally but BARD should be MINE.
EM: OMG I will literally fight Ally to the DEATH for the Driver. He is my number one, for reals. I think the sociopathic even PSYCHOPATHIC tendencies that he displays are utterly mesmerizing.
NITA: I will be sitting around the corner to see you and Ally fighting for him, it will be fun BUT while you guys are fighting can I borrow The Driver to have xxx with? haha!!!
ALLY: Number 1, I love the fact that Nita just totally censored what she’d do to Driver. No. 2, I love the Driver, but I wouldn’t keep him, so no fighting with Em. No. 3, from your perspective Em, I kinda understand your point. No. 4, I love Bard. I have loved him since I was a teen, back when I read The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings books over and over again. And last year, when Bard came to life in the big screen and it was Luke, well… you guys certainly know my reaction. So… crown me and call me Queen of Dale because I would totally marry his Black Arrow ass, 3 kids and all! I love kids! I want to have a lot of kids! His kids! LOL. I mean, how could you not love Bard? I love the look: long hair, beard, the coat. And he is amazing. He is brave, he stands up for what he believes in, he is the defender of the people, he is a family man, he’d do anything to protect the ones he loves. How can you not be in love with him already? He is an ordinary man who ends up doing something extraordinary! And he is an amazing bowman (which is sexy as hell). Oh! And he is a JRRTolkien man, so that’s far better than even a Disney Prince. I want to live in Middle Earth!!!
NITA: Ohhhhh Ally, my love!!! We could take good care of our precious Bard together. I really don’t mind if we share the man we love, do you? I promise I will not make him tired too much so he will still has energy left for you too
ALLY: Not at all! We can become Mormon and share a husband!
EM: No one you can have Bard if I kill him first… Muahahahahaha
ALLY: Stop killing the cute characters, Em!!!
EPPIE: Concerning Bard, how could I possibly add something to what Ally wrote? I would totally sign that, too! She summed it up pretty well. I like my men fearless but GOOD! And Bard may be grim-faced and -voiced but he has a heart of gold and that’s what counts to me. He is so lovely to his kids and he’s an amazing father! That makes him HOT as heck! Men who can take on responsibility for their own actions and for the smaller and weaker ones! Omg, protective men are so incredibly attractive!!! o_O And Bard is like comfort on legs. Plus in addition to that he can handle a long bow which is my favorite weapon of all times anyway, so: I would totally MARRY Bard at once! With children or without. But I’m fine with children because I love children and I wanna have some myself and Bard’s children are the cutest anyway so no problem at all!
ALLY: OMG! That was the best everrrrrrrr!!!! ♥♥♥♥ So we 3 would marry Bard and kill Em just to protect him, right? I’m kiddiiiiing!!!!! Or… am I? Muahahahaha
EPPIE: Naw, I could never kill Em!!! But we could lock her up Hannibal Lecter style so she doesn’t kill our darlings. Which would be useless because Driver would manage to get her out of there and probably do horrible things to us so I better not mess with Em. We better just all live in different far away countries so we don’t ever meet so no one ever gets a chance to kill anyone.
ALLY: Hahaha. You’ve found the loop-hole. So Em’s psycho hubbies would always end up killing us? I don’t like this game anymore! Ok. No one will kill anyone. Promise. By the way… we should totally do the Driver next.
EPPIE: Sure, why not?
THE DRIVER (NO ONE LIVES)
ALLY: I loooooooove the driver!!! It’s so unfair that the hottest character is also the most psychotic!!! I would totally have a one night stand with the Driver, in that crappy, little motel. And once he is asleep, I would get dressed and run for dear life while calling the police on his murdering ass! But I gotta respect him. He is smart and dedicated to his craft.
EPPIE: *loool* That sounds like a plan!
EM: The Driver? I would absolutely TOTALLY DEFINITELY marry him. I like the mysteriousness about him… I mean, yes he is a freaking psychotic killer but I can see past that and understand that he is a deeply troubled man that needs some serious TLC… I, for one, would be happy to provide him with that. I would be apt to learn his killer ways just to please him. And think about the sex… I bet it would be freaking insane!!! Seriously, just thinking about it makes me CRAY. I FREAKING LOVE HIM.
NITA: The Driver? He is very fantastic, I really liked Luke in this role,- so menacing. The Driver as a Maniac was a pleasure to watch even thought he is so very far from Luke and Luke man booty was the best part of this film, don’t you think so? My favorite scene and quote is that scene with “Take off the towel” you know what I am going to say….. What a fucking HOT he is!!! laying in bed ——> his action ——-> his eyes ——> his voice porn….I can’t breath! I promise to jump in the bed with him and non stop f**king him hard till we are dead. if only I were there! Even though The Driver is so damn hot and arousing but I hate horror movie and I am not a blood-thirsty moviegoer! so I would kill him after we make xxx !! pardon me girls
EPPIE: Hahaha, Nitina! Omg, that just cracked me up! To be honest… Driver scares the shit out of me and at the same time he is so freakin’ hot I don’t even know where to start! Same goes for Owen Shaw but the latter is much more calculating and strategic and reserved. Driver on the other hand is not less calculating and strategic but he’s far more hot blooded and passionate and in his very own twisted way even loving and caring towards his “chosen ones”. If I was a chosen one of his I might actually fall for him hard! Like solid lady boner “hard”! Because of that and because I can neither marry him (since he’s Em’s and apart from that I am pretty sure that marrying a straight psychopath is a REAL bad idea) nor kill him (he’s the Driver! he’s impossible to kill!) I would totally go with FUCK!
ALLY: We all had our chance with the Driver. Who do you want to do next?
ARAMIS (THE 3 MUSKETEERS)
NITA: Aramis? Or Andy Cobb? Aramis is my handsome swordsman I fell madly in love with him. I screamed like a crazy fangirl when I see him! He’s very religious which I am not but that is not a problem. Luke is the best Aramis ever. also, snarky as sin and black-leather-wearing sword-ninjaing…what else can I say? I do love and adore him I would marry him.
ALLY: I love then fact that I think I’ve agree in everything so far with Nita. I looooooooove Aramis!!! I wanna marry him. I’m not religious either, but I don’t care. Aramis is hot as hell, dressed in head to toe black leather. He is brave and fights for what he believes in and for great and noble causes!!! And he looks adorable with those round glasses!!!
NITA: We can share our next husband again
ALLY: But if you get Bard, Eppie gets Fields and Em gets Owen, I have to be 1st wife to either Amaris or Andy!!!
NITA: AHHHHH FAIR! If Eppie gets Fields, I get Bard and Em gets Shaw or even Driver I am sure Aramis belongs to you, Ally. Anyone would kill him huh?
ALLY: I’m scared of Em now… she is killing all the cute and sweet characters. She is dangerous
NITA: Let’s see what she is gonna do to our sweet man
EPPIE: So Aramis. Yes, he’s kinda cute! What am I saying? He’s super HOT of course!!! But oh well… he’s kind of an asshole, too. To poor Planchet and that is totally not cool. I don’t like people who pick on others for whatever reason and it’s really not like Planchet deserves it or anything. He may be a little goofy or weird but when’s that ever been a good reason to pick on someone? I don’t really understand it because other than that Aramis seems to be… kind of an asswhole, too. I know deep down inside he’s a nice guy! As Ally said before he has his agenda that he lives by and that’s very honorable! But then again he can be really snobbish sometimes and I don’t like that. He could be really sweet if only he’d let it show a little more! I like Aramis’ style of fighting! He’s a really good swordsman and I adore his set of beliefs! He has a very realistic view on the church for a former priest and I like that a lot about Aramis! He really IS a good guy but he could treat certain people with a little more respect as they deserve it. For that reason and because I think that he has some really good lover skills… I might even marry him aswell but I would definitely fuck him!
EM: I bet you guys are dying to know what my opinion is, huh? Marry… Fuck… Or, my personal favourite, kill…! What shall I choose…?
NITA: I bet you kill him(again)?
ALLY: Yay! Aramis is mine!!! So, Em… please don’t kill him!
EM Contrary to what you guys think, I would actually MARRY Aramis. Why? Because he is the definition of my dream guy (besides Owen Shaw). He is an exceptional swordfighter, relying on agility and skill rather than brute force to carry out his kills, which was awesome. This matters because I REALLY like men who can handle a blade, if you know what I mean. Also, I love his personality; he’s serious but also loyal, which is awesome. Sure, he’s not as comical as Porthos, but I bet I could help bring his humour to the surface. I also REALLY like his outfits; he clearly has the best style out of all the musketeers, especially with that hat. Totally drop dead sexy. All in all, I think he would make a fabulous second (or third…?) husband, and I would fight ANY of y’all to keep him!
ALLY: OMG!!! You wouldn’t kill him? I’m going to cry from joy!!!
ANDY COBB (TAMARA DREW)
NITA: I think we should continue with Andy Cobb. Andy Cobb —–> I would fuck him! He is an adorable sweetheart in this movie! lovely both inside & out, amazingly hot and sweet personality I love him with his rugged good looks and muscular body! Sorry, I have to say that Tamara didn’t deserve to be with him!
ALLY: Oh, Tamara didn’t deserve to be with handy candy Andy for sure. No freaking way!!! I love Andy Cobb. I would totally marry him. He is so sweet and adorable. And he cares for others. And he is quite handy to have around the house. He seems to be such a nice guy. He helps the American writer and he cares so much for Beth. He gets really annoyed when Beth’s husband cheats on her. And the best scene? The look on his face when he is at the house with the color charts and Tam comes down fixing her blazer. The look of total adoration on his face is priceless. But there’s one thing I don’t like about Andy. He is too passive. He might care for Beth and he doesn’t like her husband cheats on her, but he does nothing about it. He cares about Tam, but he doesn’t fight for her. He wants his family’s house back and does nothing about it. He should be a bit more proactive! I still love him though!
NITA: Even though he is sweet ,adorable and nice but I want to punch his face sometimes cause he seems to be “dumb” and makes me dissatisfy. That’s why I would fuck him instead of marry him
ALLY: Oh, poor Andy. He’s not dumb. He is just very, veryyyyyy passive…
NITA: Hahaha ok passive, too passive. What about me? I am too active I don’t think it will be succeed for our married life but I dare to say if any woman gets him,it will be like they win the first prize of lottery! And I already had my own first prize…..my precious BARD
ALLY: Hahaha. Totally. Andy is just a good heart. So he’d be a great first price. Though I expect Em will most probably kill him…
EPPIE: Please don’t kill Andy Cobb! He’s such a sweetheart!!! Okay, I said that about Fields and Bard as well and you want to kill them nevertheless. My darling boys! I would definitely marry Andy, too. Candy Andy! He’s absolute eye-candy indeed! But that’s not reason enough to marry him. Ally is right, he IS quite passive. I guess he’s just not the most self confident person on this planet. He’s not from a rich family and his career is kinda developing slowly. It took him time to find his place within society but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. People who experience failure have a good chance to learn from it. The development of the character can profit from it and I think in Andy’s case it did so! He knows what he wants. He’s just a little too passive or shy to go for it. Maybe he thinks he can’t do or change anything anyway or maybe he’s just gutless and lazy. But honestly I don’t think the latter. He rather seems like he wants to help but he doesn’t really know how. So he rather stays passive in order not to disturb things even more. Yes, that is kinda passive but at the same time can you blame him? And he does what he can to support the ones he loves and he does so in a very sweet, kind and lovely way and that’s freaking adorable, let’s be honest! I also think that Tamara doesn’t really deserve him. I’d rather see him with someone else. But that’s not up to discussion. So Andy Cobb, Candy Andy, I would totally marry him!
EM: Hmmm, Andy, Andy, Andy… I think I would fuck him. He’s too much of a goody two shoes for me to marry (he would drive me absolutely insane as a spouse), but he’s far too cute for me to kill. Obviously he’s quite fit considering his beautiful bod, so I’m positive that the sex would be phenomenal. I think I would tire of him though… So, thinking about it… I think I would fuck him, then kill him when I was ‘done.’
ALLY: Please don’t kill candy Andy!!! Just do your thing but let him live!!! He’s like a puppy. Em’s evil! But we love her just the way she is
EM: I’m killing him to spite all of you. me and my psychotic husbands! MUAHAHAHA
ALLY: Stay away from Candy Andy, you little psycho!!!
EM: You can’t stop me…
ALLY: we’ll have Bard shoot you a big black arrow!!!
EM: Let’s see here, so far I’ve killed Fields, Bard and Andy. According to the Driver, that makes me a psychopath, right? haha
ALLY: Yup. You are not into details, you are a numbers girl. Driver would be proud.
EM: Hahaha, Bard would never even see me coming. I’d rig Laketown to explode before he could even knock an arrow on his bow string. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ALLY: OMG! You’ve really thought this through!
EM: hahaha naw, that’s just how my brain works
STOKES (BLITZ)
ALLY: So? Onto Stokes? I’d marry him too (I know, I know. I have an awful lot of husbands…) But Stokes is just… Stokes. Ok. I don’t really know him that much but: 1/ he is trustworthy enough that people and friends go to him for help. 2/ he knows when to ask for help himself. 3/ apparently, he is good at what he does. 4/ he looks cute with all that hair porn. 5/ he seemed sweet during the date. 5/ he takes care and worries about the girl when she is sick. So he’d be the kinda guy to bring you chicken soup when you are ill. I’d so marry him!!!
NITA: To be honest, I love the character Luke played, D.I. Stokes. I loved him! He was really such a perfect guy, a gentleman and really just lovely (especially during the date with Falls) made the whole film worth seeing, but sadly it was a little weak script for him and small I don’t know if I was expecting too much? Anyway, I would take him home and introduce him to my family as my (3rd) husband to be! Hahaha….well, I would marry him!
ALLY: Yeah. Stokes seems like the guy you’d take home to meet your parents. But his storyline was minimal.
EM: I think I would marry Stokes as well, actually. I really liked his character, and like the rest of you, I really wanted to see more of him in the film. He seems like he knows what he wants, but not in a way that is forceful. I laughed when he said he would help the female cop in exchange for a date, if even a few drinks at a pub. I also really liked that he wanted to take it slow, and wasn’t just about being all physical on the first date–quite a break from cliche romantic films. Lastly, he looked so suave and handsome dressed in a simple collared shirt and jeans, and I am totally into that. Anyway, I think that Stokes is an ideal husband and I would not hesitant to add him to my harem of husbands muahahahaha
EPPIE: Haha, Em you’re so right about Stokes! And Owen Shaw as well, even though he still scares me a bit and I still bet he would sell his own grandma if it helped him. Anyway, about Craig Stokes. I think I would marry him as well for the same reasons Em just mentioned. Especially that dating thing! Okay, he didn’t walk Falls to the door which he could (and I think should) have. And yes, he told her he would call her which kinda pissed her off which is comprehensible as well, I think. But still, he seems to know what he wants and who can blame him for wanting to consult his pillow about and after that first date with a woman he obviously likes? It really wasn’t necessary for her to be that bitchy about the “I call you”-thing. Quite the contrary! If she wanted him to come over to her place after the date or whatever really she could just have asked him to do so! And after that whole drama he really proved himself worthy serious dating material when he showed up at her door when she was in serious trouble. Most men would probably run away and never come back. But Craig Stokes came back to help Falls in a situation where she could have easily scared him away, all high and aggressive and loud as she was. But he didn’t get scared. He cared for her in a really sweet and comforting way (well, except maybe for the cold shower but that one was absolutely necessary, so nevermind it). And about that “walking her to the door”-thing he got his just deserts from Brant and Nash and he really looked like he felt honestly guilty for it. All this being said I would say that D. I. Stokes to me is pure, lovely, handsome husband material! I would totally marry him as well!!!
NITA: I can’t remember if this is the first time that all of us would marry the same character??? Well, queue please……
ALLY: OMG!!! I never thought we would all want to marry Stokes! His character has so little screen time and yet we all loved him!!! Amazing!
So… to sum things up:
1/ we’ve decided who’s 1st wife to each character.
2/ We all have lots of husbands.
3/ Em is a murdering psycho
4/ we all agreed we’d marry Stokes. amazing, huh?
CREDITS
The 3 Musketeers – Tamara Drewe – No One Lives – The Raven:
Blitz:
The Hobbit:
Fast & Furious 6:
You girls are crazy! I found myself laughing out loud with many of your comments. I haven’t watched some of these movies, but I sure will look them up after this.
Totally agree on Apollo looking like a Ferrero Rocher! That was hilarious! I’ll never be able to keep a straight face while looking at a Ferrero Rocher after this!
Yup. The Ferrero Rocher comment was something genius from Nita
It makes me laugh too much again and again ha ha ha…..
That was the idea!!! We did a good job at that (if I may say so myself…)